After the move...

Moving is done. Boxes are unpacked. It hasn't yet been a week, but nearly everything is in its place. I wish I felt that way - that everything was neat and organized - but in my mind, it's total chaos. I don't feel settled or connected to anything here. Even though I know I'll be here for at least three years, I feel like it's temporary, as if we were only living here for a month. I even got a temporary job. I think the hardest part is knowing that the only thing keeping me from connecting with the city I live in and the people in it is me. All I have to do is get out there, right? Start looking for shows to audition for. Start making inquiries about teachers to study with. It's harder than it looks. No one wants to feel pain, but that's just what I have to do in order to get what I want. I have to face my fear of rejection, and my overall fear of new anything, if I want to be part of the world I caught a glimpse of while in college. I must sing. I feel as though a part of me is dying every second that I don't.