Getting in is the first step...

On Monday I had a callback audition for The Choral Project, a San Jose based "theatre choir" that performs all sorts of rep, from classical to musical theatre. To join the group, I first had to set up a private audition with Daniel Hughes, the artistic director. First, I sang a solo piece I had prepared, and then he had me sight read (ugh!) and sing various scales. There are fewer altos in the world than sopranos, so I had the upper hand going in, and was told I would get a call back no matter how I did on the sight reading (not terribly well!). The callback was at the first full rehearsal of the season. I had a week to learn a piece, and he used this piece to voice-match the singers in each section. After three hours of rehearsal, he let the new members know their status. Luckily, Daniel was pleased with the blend of voices in my section and accepted me into the group! Now, the hard work begins. We have many pieces involving complex harmonies and different languages to learn, a concert coming up in only six weeks, and a trip to a vocal competition in Spain to raise money for. I also have to come up with money for dues and my concert attire, which, rumor has it, I have to have custom made! Check out The Choral Project on youtube.com!

Music majors: keeping music in our lives after graduation.

I saw a video on yahoo.com the other day that showed Condoleeza Rice playing classical piano. At first I was surprized, but it helped remind me that we are capable of taking on many different responsibilities while keeping the music going. We live in a competitive world, and circumstances have a way of mapping out our lives. Who knows? We might be one of the lucky ones who, like one popular R&B singer who's name escapes me, gets noticed while singing to herself at a gas station and suddenly has a recording career. The point is, anything can happen, and I am a firm believer that great things can happen if one is open to them happening. For example, if an opportunity comes along and one isn't prepared (or simply lacks the courage to try), that's one more chance down the drain. At the same time, we can't sit daydreaming about our ideal future 24-7. We have bills to pay, people to love and lives to live. I must get a job now, music industry or not, but that doesn't mean I am no longer an artist and a singer. It is up to all of us to determine what role music has in our lives, and to give it enough energy to allow it to fill that role. For me, singing is the ultimate form of self-expression, and performing is the greatest high because it allows me to express all of the emotions I have learned to supress. I have recently started writing my own songs, and I have found, with great joy, that my own songs are my favorites, because I was able to express a personal emotion, through the combination of words and music, in a way clearer than with words alone. You never have to give up on your dreams. Circumstances may change, but there is always a way to keep moving forward with your art, a little at a time. So keep going! Music may not pay the bills, but it may sustain you in some other way.

Still searching...

Thirty days have passed, and I am still searching for that "day job." Things are not looking good. I have worked for a month at a temp catering job, and I was depressed to learn that I have only made about $300 in that time (I only work 1-3 days per week).

On a lighter note, I wrote my first complete song last night (well, the first one that I'm proud to say I have written!). I haven't written it out in notation or anything - just chords, melody and lyrics. I'll keep working on it and hopefully put together a youtube video soon.

Hello from the other side!

There have always been times in my life when I feel I'm not equipped to overcome the challenges I face, but I continue to prove myself wrong. In the ten or so days since my last post, I feel I have transformed myself by reaching out to others. It seems I am constantly learning this lesson: that keeping my feelings and fears inside doesn't solve anything, and that communicating openly can only help the situation at hand. A visit from a college friend only reminded me of how much I missed the safety and comfort of my college life, when I was surrounded by music majors who all shared my dreams. My job search dragged on, and I thought things couldn't get much worse. Then, a coworker at my temp job told me the office building she worked in during the day burned to the ground just hours before our shift that night! It's strange that no matter how bad things seem, we are always better off than we think we are.

For whatever reason, things have been getting better ever since that night. I have started to open my eyes to the world around me, and it looks like everyone is doing their best to get along, despite the circumstances. There are numerous challenges to face every day, and we have to be willing to look them in the eye if we want to go places. I finally contacted a local guitar teacher and had my first lesson. He informed me that there are lots of venues to perform in my area, which is wonderful and terrifying! It means if I dedicate myself to learning what I want to learn, I could be out there with the rest of them, living my dream of being a singer/songwriter. I'm also hoping to audition for a local theatre choir that performs works from a variety of musical genres. Things are falling into place, but it takes time, and I'm still learning how to be patient.

After the move...

Moving is done. Boxes are unpacked. It hasn't yet been a week, but nearly everything is in its place. I wish I felt that way - that everything was neat and organized - but in my mind, it's total chaos. I don't feel settled or connected to anything here. Even though I know I'll be here for at least three years, I feel like it's temporary, as if we were only living here for a month. I even got a temporary job. I think the hardest part is knowing that the only thing keeping me from connecting with the city I live in and the people in it is me. All I have to do is get out there, right? Start looking for shows to audition for. Start making inquiries about teachers to study with. It's harder than it looks. No one wants to feel pain, but that's just what I have to do in order to get what I want. I have to face my fear of rejection, and my overall fear of new anything, if I want to be part of the world I caught a glimpse of while in college. I must sing. I feel as though a part of me is dying every second that I don't.

Time to brag about my amazing husband...

I have known my husband since junior high school, and in all of those years I had never heard him sing "for real." You see, he's got a great sense of humor and he's shy, so every time I would ask him to sing something for me, he would use this cartoony voice. I knew he had a great voice inside of him - one full of sincerity and emotion - but I think he was too shy about expressing himself, and he wouldn't let me hear it. On Saturday night, years of wondering ended. My beautiful husband performed, singing, in a BAND. Granted, it was just for a small fundraising event, but still! Not only that, but their first song had a country twang to it, and country is my favorite genre. It is highly ironic that he got the chance to do this before I did. What he got to do that night is exactly what I want to do. Watching him up there, I was totally in awe of what he was able to accomplish, being an untrained singer who had certainly never sung for an audience before. However, I knew he would pull it off all along. He's amazingly talented. I wasn't jealous at all.

Bad timing...

I am moving in 5 days, to a much bigger city than I have ever lived in before! It's exciting, nerve-wracking, all of the above. Now that I know when and where I am moving, I have been applying for jobs. What a joy. I am really getting tired of taking those personality tests - you know, the ones that involve at least 45 minutes of multiple choice questions like, "'I am a robot.' Check one answer: strongly agree, agree, neither agree nor disagree..." The questions are often poorly worded, so that I am not sure which answer to choose. I truly feel I would have greater success of making a good first impression if I spoke to a human being, which is what I will have to do if none of these online applications yield any prospects. It is extremely difficult to accurately represent oneself when one is limited to multiple choice answers.

Yesterday, I began researching arts organizations and theaters in my area, only to find out that I missed auditions for a paid opera chorus position by exactly one week. I really should relax though: I've only been actively looking for jobs in my new city for a few days. Plus, it's the weekend, and most employers probably won't get back to me until Monday at the earliest. So, it's back to sorting, organizing, and packing for the big move. 5 days!